Focusing on Barriers that hinders our Progress
Too many times we dedicate ourselves in linking our problems to homophobias for being the main cause. And too little attention we give to our own obscurity that is causing our slow progress. Why? Would this take us any further?
From ignorance, the greatest disease of our time, to the tittle-tattles, it seems our community has faced barricades from progressing much further. Apparently, these sicknesses that look as if our community has been infected with, came from nowhere but only from us.
Ignorance or a reluctance attitude amongst SGL people is a very common facet when it comes to bringing change for their plight in Ethiopia. Either this weakness has generated from fear of coming out not therefore to face any consequence (if occur) or lack of faith, in which they find it hard to imagine Ethiopia being a safe place for SGL people. However, both grounds are non-sense.
Our target is to create a safe and favorable environment for SGL people in Ethiopia that takes every one of us strength from fully coming out to ourselves, to slightly coming out to other close individuals (could be to family or friends.)
Accepting the fact that coming out to someone I'm close with as an intermediate to bring awareness in the community, I have told my sister that I'm gay, not long ago. Many questions she asked and I tried to address all, in which she finally swayed to be ok with it. This being the first incident for me to come out to a family member, I was excited to tell my other gay friends if it could motivate them and tomorrow if they contemplate to come out as I did. To your amusement, few appreciate the courage while unfortunately; most warned me to be careful and not to utter anything to my sister about my gay friends. And none said, they would try to do the same. We all know coming out isn't easy in a society like ours but at least, having the aspiration would indicate our eagerness to attain our rights. Conceiving is the start and executing follows.
Apart from this, most gays especially from Ethiopia, don't even wish to participate in the groups. They don't find the group for other function unless for dating purposes. So many times I have tried for people in Addis to get involved in the group, where in most cases they agree to disagree. And then, I started assuming these groups could be hectic to operate than any other professional forums. But later that I found out, the same stillness occurred in the new Gay Ethiopians Forum.
Or, is it the moderators and the key players in the groups who have made the groups disinteresting and thus discouraging others to participate?
All that is needed is a space where we can grow out of it. Why can't we see this in a bigger and better picture?
Too many times we dedicate ourselves in linking our problems to homophobias for being the main cause. And too little attention we give to our own obscurity that is causing our slow progress. Why? Would this take us any further?
From ignorance, the greatest disease of our time, to the tittle-tattles, it seems our community has faced barricades from progressing much further. Apparently, these sicknesses that look as if our community has been infected with, came from nowhere but only from us.
Ignorance or a reluctance attitude amongst SGL people is a very common facet when it comes to bringing change for their plight in Ethiopia. Either this weakness has generated from fear of coming out not therefore to face any consequence (if occur) or lack of faith, in which they find it hard to imagine Ethiopia being a safe place for SGL people. However, both grounds are non-sense.
Our target is to create a safe and favorable environment for SGL people in Ethiopia that takes every one of us strength from fully coming out to ourselves, to slightly coming out to other close individuals (could be to family or friends.)
Accepting the fact that coming out to someone I'm close with as an intermediate to bring awareness in the community, I have told my sister that I'm gay, not long ago. Many questions she asked and I tried to address all, in which she finally swayed to be ok with it. This being the first incident for me to come out to a family member, I was excited to tell my other gay friends if it could motivate them and tomorrow if they contemplate to come out as I did. To your amusement, few appreciate the courage while unfortunately; most warned me to be careful and not to utter anything to my sister about my gay friends. And none said, they would try to do the same. We all know coming out isn't easy in a society like ours but at least, having the aspiration would indicate our eagerness to attain our rights. Conceiving is the start and executing follows.
Apart from this, most gays especially from Ethiopia, don't even wish to participate in the groups. They don't find the group for other function unless for dating purposes. So many times I have tried for people in Addis to get involved in the group, where in most cases they agree to disagree. And then, I started assuming these groups could be hectic to operate than any other professional forums. But later that I found out, the same stillness occurred in the new Gay Ethiopians Forum.
Or, is it the moderators and the key players in the groups who have made the groups disinteresting and thus discouraging others to participate?
All that is needed is a space where we can grow out of it. Why can't we see this in a bigger and better picture?
posted by EG at 12:14 AM
7 Comments:
Thank you so much for noting Ethiopian gays inability to work together to develop a more open and positive gay identity. A few years back I wrote about my life as a gay Ethiopian man on the pages of Seleda. The response to the essay was overwhelmingly positive. Many Ethiopian gay and lesbians from around the world contacted me to say thank you for giving a voice to our community. The people I have meet through that interaction have become like a second family to me. We have created a community that is supportive and open. The fact that we have come out to each other is a big first step. Some of us are totally out to our families and friends, some are very deep in the closet, nevertheless the process of building a positive Ethiopian gay identity is surly underway.
Wow! May be I have read your post but don't remember. Anyways, that's brave of you to make such a difference for all those people. But don't you think, as the article suggest most gays are so insecured and somehow delaying thier emancipation? I don't see a sense of unity amid the community...
The article I wrote was on Seleda’s family issue on the June 2000 issue it was titled A Slow Prelude, my story. The important point I wanted to make was that we first have to make connections amongst ourselves in order to pursue larger goals. The fact that I have gay Ethiopian friends who can accept me for who I am is a great boost to my well-being. I live in Seattle Washington and we have a core group of about 30 gay and lesbian Ethiopians in the city. We gather on almost every weekend and interestingly every one of us is a happier and more well adjusted because of the groups existence. When a person first makes contact with the group he/she is often depressed and angry about being gay in a community that doesn’t even recognize the existence of homosexuality, Some are petrified about being found out, and they go as far as disguise themselves when going into gay establishments with us, other will totally ignore other people in the group if they meet them at a none gay Ethiopian event. Most of us in the group understand that coming out is a process hence we are understanding with all the hide and seek games. Fortunately after spending quality time with our group most people tend to find a way of accepting their sexuality. I have seen the process with almost all our friends the road from self-loathing to acceptance. Such a movement is underway in almost all large American cities with significant Ethiopian population. Washington DC has even gone further as it has become the home of the first Ethiopian Gay bar. The Ethiopian Soccer games in LA also witnessed a gathering of Gay Ethiopians from all over North America. It was a great event (barbecue) with over 100 people attending. Therefore the situation isn’t as bleak as before, my advise to gay Ethiopians all over the world is to find others in your community and build a social support network, only after such a network is established can we make the next step in to a fight for societal acceptance.
Quoting, "It was a great event (barbecue) with over 100 people attending..."
Wow this is an enormous number but that's in States...but how can we motivate the people in Ethiopia to create such ambiance??? What do you suggest dear?
"It was a great event (barbecue) with over 100 people attending..."
Being in a middle of most gay Ethiopians activity in USA this number is a bit exagurated. We need years to come up with that sort of numbers. Having say that it is important and critical to form groups and support each other to overcome plenty of hurdles.
It takes quite a lot effort on us (gay Ethiopians) to be United and let hetrosexuals see as normal individuals but we are not on the right track to achive our goals. The more united we are the better we support each other and make our words heard.
"It was a great event (barbecue) with over 100 people attending..."
Being in a middle of most gay Ethiopians activity in USA this number is a bit exagurated. We need years to come up with that sort of numbers. Having say that it is important and critical to form groups and support each other to overcome plenty of hurdles.
It takes quite a lot effort on us (gay Ethiopians) to be United and let hetrosexuals see as normal individuals but we are not on the right track to achive our goals. The more united we are the better we support each other and make our words heard.
The Ethio Gay community in the city I live in suffers from the malaise of the time: FRAGMENTATION
Although ironic I get taken aback every time I try to make a connection with an Ethio Gay person. Because there is a bigger force out there that is influential in our day to day lives for eg. consumerism, lack of time, preoccupation, work. You name it. SO HOW DID YOU OVERCOME these larger issues in Seattle? What works for you to form such unity?????
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